


Splinter

by ashes0909, FestiveFerret



Series: Held [94]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Confusion, Feelings, Light Dom/sub, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:08:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21785749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashes0909/pseuds/ashes0909, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FestiveFerret/pseuds/FestiveFerret
Summary: But maybe… maybe the flame was dying down. There was definitely a shift from the last year to now, a softening. Steve had been sure that it was a good thing, as their lives meshed and life together became easy, natural, expected. But Tony liked impulse, intensity. Had they become so domestic that Tony wasn't interested anymore?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Held [94]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/646247
Comments: 29
Kudos: 439





	Splinter

A sudden downpour had Steve turning back from his run sooner than usual. He often ran in the rain, needing the exercise to keep him from vibrating out of his skin, but it was chilly and grey, and he knew that if he got too wound up later in the day, Tony would be happy to settle him again. It was a rare Saturday when they were both completely free from obligation - barring any unexpected Assembles - and Steve couldn't see much point in wasting it out in the rain when he could be cozy inside with his boyfriend.

He jogged right into the elevator and shook out his damp hair, rubbing his hands up and down his arms to warm up. The elevator let out in the penthouse, and he made a beeline for the guest bathroom, wanting to dry off right away before he dripped all over the apartment. While he was rubbing the towel over his legs, he heard the door to the back stairs open and close again, and Tony and Clint's voices breaking through the silence. He turned to step out of the bathroom but then he heard Tony laugh and say, "Steve would never see it that way."

Steve stilled, debating whether he should reveal himself or not, but in the heartbeat he took to make the decision, it was taken out of his hand.

"Well, two years is a long time," Clint said. "I've never been in a relationship that long."

"Neither have I. On purpose."

The towel dropped from Steve's hand. On purpose?

Clint snorted. "On purpose? Don't you mean because no one can stand to be around you that long?"

There was a thump, and Steve imagined Tony shoved Clint onto the couch. The TV hummed as it turned on. "No… it's like - no matter how well things are going - even in relationships that seemed perfect - two years was when it fell apart. I think it's because you hit a point where you have to shit or get off the pot. Either it's a serious forever thing, or it's not. And if it's not, you might as well end it." There was a short pause. "I'm not a serious, forever guy. So at two years - it's over. The few times it's managed to go that long, anyway."

Steve stared down at the towel draped over his feet, his heart stuck up in his throat.  _ So at two years - it's over.  _ Surely he didn't mean them, though? Their two year anniversary was only a couple months away. They'd even talked about it a few nights ago, whether they were going to have a party or not. Tony had gotten quiet… At the time, Steve had thought he was just too tired for party planning, but now it took on a new flavour. A terrifying one.

"So, what?" Clint asked, incredulous. "JARVIS' two year alarm goes off and Pepper's there with the dry cleaning, escorting them out?"

Tony scoffed. "Don't be tacky. What character are you choosing. Come on!"

Video game noises poured out of the living room, and Steve tossed the towel over the rack and slipped out of the bathroom. He turned past the kitchen, scooting around the living room where Tony and Clint wouldn't see him. Alone in their bedroom, he sat on the bed and wound his hands together. 

Tony didn't mean it, surely? Not about them?

But maybe… maybe the flame was dying down. There was definitely a shift from the last year to now, a softening. Steve had been sure that it was a good thing, as their lives meshed and life together became easy, natural, expected. But Tony liked impulse, intensity. Had they become so domestic that Tony wasn't interested anymore?

It seemed impossible that Tony would talk to Clint about it before Steve, but maybe he didn't want to ruin their last months together. And what about the last few months? Steve couldn't lie and say everything had been perfect. Only last week, when Tony was wearing the cock ring, Steve hadn't been able to make him come. Tony'd never struggled to get there before. What if Steve couldn't please him? He'd loved the sex club, had been sure it was mostly inspired by him, but looking at it another way, maybe Tony was bored with just the two of them. 

It wasn't in Tony's nature to be cruel, of course not, and Steve believed he loved him. But sometimes love wasn't enough. 

Steve opened the top drawer to his dresser and pulled out his collar. He ran his fingers down the length of the braid. The leather had softened and felted together at parts, even fraying at the edges. He choked down a heavy lump in his throat. What if they'd just… expired?

Steve hid in the bedroom until Clint left then asked Tony if he wanted to watch a movie, unable to face falling into bed together while his head was so messed up. Tony agreed easily, so Steve tucked himself up under his arm, Tony's fingers petting through his hair, and tried to convince himself that it was all in his head, that he'd misunderstood what Tony had said to Clint, and that nothing was wrong.

But after three days of trying to kid himself, something definitely  _ was  _ wrong. 

He'd been dodging Tony, stumbling over his words, acting weird and going to bed early to avoid tense evenings. Tony could obviously tell, but hadn't confronted him about it yet, kindly giving Steve space to work through it on his own - or ask for help, if he needed it. And that was the crux of it. He couldn't just put the conversation off indefinitely, hoping that the next few months weren't a countdown to the chopping block. He had to actually  _ talk  _ to Tony.

The downside, of course, being that if Tony said two years was it, Steve had to break up with him. He couldn't pretend everything was okay, knowing they were rapidly approaching their expiry date.

So that night, when Tony came home from work, Steve resolved to talk to him. But when Tony walked through the door, beautiful in his grey suit and red tie, and talking endlessly about a meeting where they'd hired the wrong translator, Steve couldn't stop himself. He reached out, grabbed Tony by his tie, and drew him into a kiss.

"Mmm," Tony hummed, arms circling Steve's waist. He'd brought some cold air in from outside, and Steve breathed in the brisk scent. Tony melted into the kiss, letting Steve take what he needed. When they parted, Tony gave him a shrewd look. "You okay?" he murmured.

Steve nodded. "Yeah. I just - I want you. Come to bed with me?"

"If I ever say no to that, I'm a Skrull and you should shoot me."

Steve couldn't help his laugh as he guided Tony to their bedroom. Before they even reached the door, Tony was tugging at the hem of Steve’s shirt, and Steve was pulling it over his head as they walked into the room. They didn’t even close the door, Tony just nudged Steve until he fell back on their bed and followed, crawling over him until they were face to face. 

Tony ran a hand through Steve’s hair, smoothing it down. “Look at you. Hair adorably messy from your shirt,” Tony commented. It felt amazing, and Steve closed his eyes, sinking into Tony’s touch until slightly chapped lips met his and Steve melted into that as well. 

Steve loved Tony on top of him, with a strong hand or soft, like now, Steve wanted to savor it all, opening himself to Tony, helping him deepen the kiss. Tony moaned and his hips began a steady rhythm against Steve’s; it wasn’t long before they were both hard. 

Tony pulled back with a rough breath. “We’re wearing too many clothes.” Tony pulled off his shirt, and Steve was caught by the sight of him, the familiar strength, his chest an expanse of well-read beauty marks and scars, a dusting of hair that Steve reached up and ran a hand through. After a moment, Tony caught it, bringing it up to brush against his lips before lowering himself back onto Steve, bare legs rubbing together as their cocks found each other once more, this time without obstructing clothes. 

They went slow, luxuriating in the feel of one another, the heat building between them but remaining unrushed. Tony’s hand ran down along Steve's side, leaving goosebumps in its wake, before pulling away to reach blindly in their bedside drawer, never taking his lips from Steve. 

There was a pop of the bottle opening, and then Tony shifted, just enough so that he could run a lubed finger between them to tease at Steve’s hole. His tongue swept deep in Steve's mouth, in time with his finger breaching his hole, and Steve moaned, thrusting up and clenching, wanting more even as Tony kept their pace slow, thorough. He went on like that, opening Steve, then, when he was slick and soft and ready, sliding in deep and sure, inch by inch. Steve gripped Tony's shoulders, loving the feel of him over him, inside of him, taking him. 

Tony rocked inside, mouth latched to Steve's as the found pace together. Steve wanted it to last forever, but the pleasure built tighter and tighter, Tony's breath getting faster as he pushed and thrust deep inside him. Steve felt like Tony was in every inch of him, lighting him up from the inside.

Steve's orgasm rolled in like a slow wave, building with each determined thrust of Tony’s hips, cresting as Steve shuddered and moaned, squeezing around Tony. Tony gasped in reply, following him over. He pressed a soft kiss to Steve's cheek as he came, filling him up deep inside. 

"Mmmm." Tony buried his face into Steve's stomach, muscles going lax. "That was nice, babe."

Steve burst into tears.

He hadn't meant to, hadn't felt it coming, but the combination of the soft, loving sex rocking him down into hazy space and the knowledge and pressure of what was to come, had him so twisted up that it had to come out somehow. 

"Oh, my god!" Tony startled up and reached for Steve, who buried his face in his hands. "What's wrong sweetheart? Oh, my god. Are you hurt? What happened? Steve? Darling?" Tony tried to peel his hands away, but Steve shook his head, helpless sobs wracking his frame. He couldn't face Tony until he could get himself together enough to get through what he had to say. 

"Steve, babe. I really need to know that you're okay. JARVIS! What happened? Is he hurt?"

"I can't sense anything that -"

"I'm okay -!" Steve choked out, swallowing back another wave of tears. He rubbed his hands over his eyes, but it was hopeless. He was a soggy, snotty mess. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, sweetheart. Don't be sorry. Shit. You scared the everloving fuck out of me." Tony huffed out a broken laugh. "Pretty sure I'm supposed to get violent with people who hurt my Steve, but I don't know what to do when it's me. What? Get JARVIS to beat me up? Christ." He deflated onto the bed. "What's wrong, baby?" Tony stroked gentle thumbs under Steve's eyes, wiping away his tears. 

Steve opened his mouth, but he didn't know how to start. He'd been so sure he could keep his composure through all of this, but he couldn't shake the thought that this might be the last time he got to touch Tony like this. "I'm -" his voice was wet and shaky. "I just - I wanted to t-tell you that it's okay, you know, if you n-need to go or - or -" Steve shook his head, starting over. "I mean, I love you but with our anniversary coming up, and I h-heard you. If - if you'd be happier - if someone else could make you happier or - or -" Steve broke off at the thought of Tony with someone else. Why -  _ why  _ had he decided to do this after sex? He didn't even have his collar on, but he'd sunk down in Tony's arms and his stress was making it impossible to climb back up again. 

"What -?" Tony gasped out, voice rough. "Steve - I." He moved away, and Steve panicked for a moment, then realized Tony was grabbing for the water glass by the table. He took a swig then handed the rest to Steve. "You think someone else could make me happier? Did something happen?"

"No… no. I'm just - Our anniversary is coming up. Two years. It's a long time… Maybe too long?"

"Too long?"

Steve tried to suck back another wave of tears and failed completely. He buried his face in his hands again. "If you think so -!" he choked out. This was not his practiced speech at all.

"If I - what the fuck? I'm -" Tony's voice was breaking. "You think two years is too long? What - what is it -?"

"No! I don't!"

"You don't? Who does? What is - What did I do wrong? Steve, baby, tell me what I can do to fix this. Please, god - what do you want? Am I doing something wrong? Is two years too long without - uh - I don't know. You want me to marry you? I'll marry you! What do I have to do?"

Steve's next sob broke off abruptly. "What?"

"What?" Tony's face was twisted up with pain. His eyes damp.

"Did -? Did you just propose to me while I was crying?"

"Yes? Did you just break up with me?"

"What? No!"

"What the fuck is happening?"

Steve wiped his eyes. "You'd really marry me?"

"Of  _ course.  _ I honestly thought that was where we were headed, naturally. Just… you know. You're it for me. So. If you want."

"I'm… it… for you."

"Yeah. But…" Tony cleared his throat. "But I'm not it for you?"

"What? No. Of course you are. You're everything I've ever wanted. I don't want anyone else. Ever."

Tony breathed out and folded down over Steve. He kissed one cheek then the other. "Babe… God, you scared the shit out of me. If you're not breaking up with me, what's wrong?"

"I...I thought you were going to break up with me."

"Why on earth would you think that?"

"You told Clint you don't do relationships longer than two years! You said you made sure it was that way on purpose. That you weren't a 'serious, forever guy.' What am I supposed to think?" Sheer confused frustration was turning into anger, and Steve tried his hardest to tamp it back down. It wouldn't help to get mad at Tony now.

Tony stared at him, mouth open and eyes wide. "I… Did Clint tell you that?"

"No… I overheard," Steve confessed. "I was in the bathroom."

"Oh." Tony frowned down at his hands. "I didn't mean for you to hear that."

"I know."

He sighed, and Steve's heart ached. "Look… I can't lie and tell you I never said that, or that you got it completely out of context, but you took it the wrong way. I'm  _ not  _ a serious and forever guy. Everyone knows that. And there are days when I'm utterly terrified of you, of the way you make me feel and the way my life has changed with you in it. The things I'd be willing to do for you, change for you, give up for you… it's a lot. Sometimes it scares the shit out of me." Tony cupped Steve's cheek. "But none of that scares me anywhere near as much as it does to think that I might lose you someday, that I could be doing this without you. This  _ is _ going to be the longest relationship I've ever been in, because none of them have gone past two years. And yeah, sometimes it was because I got scared and sabotaged something good. Sometimes it was because we hit that mark and I realized there was no way I could see myself with that person in another two years. Sometimes things fell apart long before that.

"But you… God, Steve. You're something completely different. You turn me into someone completely different. I can't imagine two years from now without you there too. Four years. Ten years. That thought terrifies me so much more than commitment ever could. So yeah. I'll marry you. I  _ want  _ to marry you. Because I'm  _ that  _ confident that I'll never not want you here in my arms, loving me. Please don't leave me. If I'm doing something wrong, if I'm ever not being what you need, please,  _ please  _ tell me. I'll fight. I'll try. Don't just walk away."

"Oh, Tony." Tears leaked down over Steve's cheeks again, but the desperate sobbing was gone. He still couldn't breathe, though, tight bands wound around his chest. "I love you so much. I won't walk away. You're not doing anything wrong. I don't want to break up. Never. I want to marry you, too. Wow." Steve slapped his hand over his mouth. 

Tony tipped backwards on the bed and flopped his arms wide. "Oh, my god. I just aged forty years in five minutes. Worst pillow talk ever, Steven. Why on earth are we so dramatic?"

Hot, bubbling laughter burst out of Steve's chest. "Because we're us, Tony." He threw himself on top of Tony and hummed with pleasure when strong arms circled his waist.

**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
